Dues Luedens: Telling Secrets / by Kendall R


Telling Secrets, originally uploaded by iamkr.
”It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are – even if we tell it only to ourselves – because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing.” - F. Buechner

It seems the space for telling is often best when we Play. This year on Orcas Island, surrounded by new and old friends, some who are the top in their field and others finding out that they too can play in those fields, I received the space to tell that secret. It came sometimes to friends and sometimes just to my self, remembering The Real Thing.

What I found most enjoyable and rich during this time at Kindling’s Fest was the conversations over a scotch and cigar or a glass of wine with friends with no pretensions or expectations other than to be honest enough to be present. And that, I forget, is a rarity. Yet, it seems to be the thing we all look for. Amidst so much tectonic economic, culture, and global shifts I suspect the majority of us desire a few good people with whom we can be honest enough to be present. And the trick of is, it’s not necessarily something we can force into creation.

Throughout the week there were phrases of wisdom dropped like parachutes of chocolates:

  • - ”We can have sure words, but we can’t have the last word.” - Jerry Root. And this is something both humbling and reassuring. I try too often to have the last word, to say “this thing is certain,” but that has more to do with seeking false security than trusting there is far more going on than I can see or understand.

  • - ”If you have to go through Hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill. Something I forget is that just because circumstances might be hellish it doesn’t mean they always will be. Churchill knew so many times what it was to go through Hell, and he did indeed keep going… straight on to become one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century, fore-seeing the ominous darkness of Hitler almost ten years before anyone else gave it a thought.

  • - ”I want my self, not my idea of my self. I want God, not my idea of God.” - C.S. Lewis. Words I have heard before but all the same not old and worn out. Reminds me of L’Engle’s, “We have a Point of View, but God has View.” How often I hold tightly to my idea of things of people and ultimately God - even in my more atheistic moments – and how small those ideas are from the Real Thing, from who they Truly and Fully are.

  • - ”Dancing is sculpture in Motion.” - Jerry Root. I made the journey from Seattle to Orcas with four members of The Størling Dance Company getting to know them and them me, in our long, weary-travaled state, which tends to reveal the most honest parts of us that we would rather hide. Then I saw them dance over the following days and saw something I never noticed before. Each one of them had their own style of dance, their own personality in moving and creating their sculpture – all wonder-filled. It changes the way I see others. For each of us moves through life dancing a sculpture that is unique to who we are. Some are professionals – comfortable in their skin and masters of the dance – and some are still learning where their dance begins. Watching these new friends dance, makes me want to become better at my own “dance.”

As with all good things, there is far more that happened than there words and time can share. The good came in many forms and faces. I am grateful for the moments of telling secrets about who we truly and fully are, for remembering that “the Real Thing” is much better to live out of than what the world will find more acceptable.

And it seems appropriate to stumble upon those words of Buechner the morning after my return, they give summation to something I wasn’t quite sure how to sum up.