The Third Rail

cartoon love...
Originally uploaded by zinkwazi.
”"… we 'love' as long as we see 'results,' but if the ones we love do not respond, we tend to despair.. because we love someone, we want them to be free of addictions, of sin, of self. But it might be that our love for them and our desire for their well-being will not make them well...their lack of response no more negates the reality of love than their quickness to respond confirms it." - R. M.

This is wisdom I’ve tried to learn and live by for at least the past 15 years. In friendships, in family, in relationships. It’s been a form of a third-rail for me in my dating life, and in the hard parts of long friendships.

Somewhere along the way these past few months I stopped believing any of it. Somewhere over time, negations chipped away. I came to think it was bunk, and that no one respects, honors, or dignifies this kind of love. So why bother?

But then I was reminded of the 15 years, and the years before that. I was reminded that this kind of love is True and Real because it is how I have been loved, am loved. This third-rail Reality is written in my DNA. The only failure is to not live, love out of it.

Its fuel starts with being loved and flows from there. As Peter Gabriel sang once:

”This old familiar craving
I've been here before, this way of behaving
Don't know who the hell I'm saving anymore
Let it pass let it go let it leave
From the deepest place I grieve
This time I believe

And I let go, I can let go of it
Though it takes all the strength in me…
Yes I love to be loved
I love to be loved.”
- Love to Be Loved.
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