For the Lost Season Finale
Originally uploaded by vs. Goliath.
It’s May. That time of year when the tension builds, where characters are strained, where plots are foreshadows of some significant change or disaster; when JR is Shot, or we all wonder who Shot Mr. Burns (it was Maggie), or if Locke and Hugo are really crazy, or just gifted. So, I’ve been catching up on LOST to prevent total confusion with its Season finale and I was thinking how much my life is having a Season Finale of its own.

The ongoing story that is “Me” has been running nearly 35 seasons, never a writer’s strike – even though I sometimes wonder, hmmm – and though it may be boring to watch from the couch, it sure isn’t from inside the “set.” (To get the “previously on, Me” part of this show, read everything below… some of it may feel repetitive, but that is just the star on holidays.) The plot build up and character drama is right in line with the best of them. Having started a new job this past season, I’m six months into it and hardly know what is going on most of the time and so aware that some changes need to happen, but not exactly sure when or what they will be.

Also, a significant change in plot last season - a new relationship with an old friend – has continued on and it’s only getting harder, more strained, richer, and complex the way any good, authentic relationship should. Like any other Finale, the past few months have built up to a potential “are they gonna make it?” kind of place – at least it feels like that sometimes, more right now than ever. Because let’s face, unlike TV, real life and real relationships involve two people making choices of their own desires and no one can truly predict what the other will choose. Therein comes trust, patience, and a degree of honesty that stretches me all the time.

As things have heightened over the past month or so, there is this awareness that I can so easily grow callous or hardened by the exposure I’ve had to years of tragedy and comedy – or as Cornel West calls it: the “Tragic-Comic.” OH the things I could tell you, the horrors, the stuff that they DON’T want to talk about on TV or over cocktails. Yet, instead of being numbed by it all, nor surprised at its degree, it is the depth of the tragedy that pushes me to see the beauty, the light, the worth all the more of not just my story, but each person that carries their own versions of Rilke’s Dragons.

Unlike the often mundane and inoculating experience of TV, real lives have real flesh and blood behind each death, surprise ending, unexpected plot turn. And it seems that each of us characters have so much to bring to the show, so much history and detail. Some of it crippling to the point that we never walk; some of it so unbelievable that we are walking still; where power is surrendered for intimacy, and hate finally laid down for love and acceptance.

I might be experiencing what feels like my own Season Finale with the number of things that are seemingly spinning out of control, but isn’t that the kind of stuff that makes the fake ones on TV so captivating? And I don’t have to wait till next fall to find out how things pan out… I just have to wake up tomorrow and be open to what comes.