Growing in tiME / by KR

I’ve been thinking about time.

Someone once said that when you are a kid time fits like a pair of pants you could swim in, but when you get near 40 time fits like a size too small. All I know is that these days time fits just fine. Yeah there are moments I wished it’d slow down or speed up, but they are fewer.

As a lil’ boy, I remember riding my bike around the neighborhood with friends trying to create new ways to fill the time. We talked about how being old enough to drive seemed as far away as the other side of the world but couldn't wait till we got there; much less comprehensible was being in my 30s…my parents were in their 30s, then. We enjoyed being outside too much to waste time on the Atari, (and let’s face it… “Tank” is only fun for a few minutes) So, we had a lot of time to fill.

Come college, I found myself negotiating time as if it was monopoly money. It wasn’t real, but it appeared to be valuable and I often traded it for what some would say a poor use of it. Funny enough, some of that was spent riding bigger bikes around town and campus in the middle of the night with other friends. It wasn’t until I was out of college how clearly I had wasted enormous amounts of time thinking I didn’t have enough to spare between books, papers, class, tutoring kids, etc.

Soon enough in the “real” world I easily took on more than necessary, grasping time like it was sand falling out of my hands. Everybody else did this, so it seemed like what you do in this “real” world. I was forced to get a "day-timer" so I could manage time…apparently I wasn’t good enough to do it without a guidebook… apparently time is malleable. Yeah, right.

Nowadays, time isn’t so urgent nor is it so slow. It does go quick. Seasons change like frames on a movie reel. But the need to manipulate time is gone. I tossed the Day-timer years ago, and the PDA I had... well... where is that thing, I havent seen for ages? Yes, time is picking up speed as I get older, but like my best days surfing, I try and ride it fast or slow and enjoy.

After all the voices that have tried to tell me I’m losing time, wasting time, spending it this way or that, don’t have enough, am running out of it, must bide it…. Well, when I stopped listening to them I found I have just what I need. I still feel like life is just getting started long after it’s already been well lived. Maybe when I am in my 60’s, (if I get to that much time) I will be graced enough to feel like it is just getting started… again…