(not rabbit. for anybody who was confused)
I was handed my ass on a platter today with this one.
Am I student or a talmudeen of Jesus’?
Students want to know what their teacher knows. And that is where it stops.
Talmudeen want to know what their teacher knows AND are fierce about wanting to be like their teacher – according to Ray Vander Lan.
As I ran today and gnawed on these questions, a fearfulness that is more the color of one who is in the presence of something bigger than himself than one who is simply frightened came over me. Probably started running faster and didn’t even know it. My heart just stood at attention, shocked, wanting more to simply fall to the ground.
Which would have resulted in a call to 911 by a passerby thinking I had a heart attack…which I kind of did, if you think about it.
To become like the Rabbi is very much different than to know the set of facts that he knows. And in a culture that is dead-set on holding tightly to our self, no wonder Jesus has so few talmudeen. ( note: they are different than what we mistakes as Christians) And yet, to become like the Rabbi is to actually start becoming that fierce, glorious person I was made to be. Not some sweater wearing Ned Flanders who does all the “right” things. Someone far more fierce. Someone far more alive. Someone far more…human.
Are we afraid of what we lose?
Are we afraid of what we gain?
My guess is, we would rather, I would rather, stay on the softer question of what I lose. And not make eye contact with what I will gain. Even there it is not a selfish endeavor, but something else…and I haven’t the word for it.
T.S. Eliot’s verse, “Be prepared to meet Him Who Knows How to Ask Questions,” makes so much more sense. Well, because, Jesus came as a Jew, and not just any Jew but A Rabbi. And show me a Rabbi that doesn’t ask questions and I will show you a bear that doesn’t poop in the woods.
The funny thing about this is that when I considered the question, “Do I want to be like my Rabbi?” I eventually asked God. He didn’t answer but with a question, “What is the desire of your heart?”