Sometimes You Get the Bear....

“Sometimes we live in God and sometimes God lives in us...when God lives in us, we have nothing to help us beyond what he gives us moment by moment. Nothing else is provided and no road is marked out. We are like a child who can be led about wherever one wishes and who is ignorant of everything except what is put in front of it,” wrote Jean-Pierre De Caussade.
In other words when we live in God, we seem to have to work at it. When HE lives in us, HE does all the work and we are carried along.

If there is anything that has been shown to me it is that He carries me along; that I am His son whom He leads where He wishes and I am to ask as my heart moves. I would say this has been concretely revealed more so in the past few weeks than ever, but that would diminish the fact that since He drew me away from my job in May, He has been doing this all along. It is just accentuated in my present reality. Heck, in the last week, my relationship with Diana seems to have come to an apparent end, my need for His financial provision has increased (and daily been provided for just what I need), and now I am informed that there is a chance that the house I live in might be sold, thus, leaving me homeless. I would be posing if I told you I was “trusting Jesus” and “everything will work out,” and that I was ok with it all. I would seriously question my humanity if DIDN’T have an emotional response. So, after finding out about the possible housing situation, I just laid it out there- frustration, anger, and utter desperation – with God. At one point I just had to say, “What the F*** are You doing to me God?” Knowing full well He wants my honest emotion – because unlike us, He is not easily offended...for He knows who HE is, even if I don’t.

So, around 5A.M. He stirs me out of bed and I, a little weary, ask where He wants me. Isaiah 42. “I am the Lord! That is my name! I will not share my glory with anyone else, or praise due me with idols...The Lord emerges like a Hero, like a warrior he inspires himself for battle...’I’ve been inactive for a long time, I kept quiet and held back...I will lead them down paths they have never traveled, I will turn the darkness in front of them into light.” I understand the context of this scripture and all very well, yes. Only, I must say it was sure a grand thing to hear God start the day with “I am the Lord! That is my Name! I will not share my glory...” Not a fearful, “oh I despise myself” Isaiah 6 response. More like a, “Wow, cool, I can’t wait to see where this is going,” response. (Oh the difference between living in fear of God’s wrath like most do, and living in the freedom and assurance that I am not condemned, but loved) There is comfort and delight in these words from Isaiah. A swift reminder who is God and who is not and I am damn thankful I am not.

De Caussade later says, “Whatever the world offers them is nothing. They judge all things by God’s standards. If he take from them their powers of thought and speech, their books, their food, their friends, their health, and even life itself, it means no more to them than if he did the exact opposite. They love all he does...they do not reason about what he does, but approve it. They know it is never without significance.” Last night one of my buddy’s upon hearing about the house thing said, “what’s next, cancer?” Who knows? But then again, what can I do about it other than be “like a child who can be led about?” He plants His desires in my heart to live large and full, to write, to push the boundaries of mine and other’s comfort zone, to walk with them in that. This I know is true. And as a God who is closer than the air I breath to that heart of mine -that heart of His - He leads me, moves me, shapes me for those desires. He IS like a Hero, a Warrior and leads “down paths [I] have never traveled.”

Sure beats the normal life...whatever that is.